Dave by the Bell: Roommate Pet Peeves

On the latest DBTB Dave discovers that for some roommates clothing is optional and dirty dishes can be handled simply by placing them in a trash can.


  • Dave Blanks: All right. I’ve been criticized. Everybody is saying I’m no standing by the bell so (bell dings) there it is! I’m standing right beside the bell.

    (Theme music)

    Dave: Hey everybody. It’s me Dave Blanks and I’m back once again with another Dave by the Bell. On this edition of DBTB…is that a thing? People are saying that right? I’m going to be talking to students about their roommates. I’m going to be asking them what their number one roommate pet peeve is. The odds are pretty good that there are going to be some students out there who maybe do not have the best relationship with their roommates. We’re going to find out what they have to say. What is their number one gripe about their roommate?

    Voice 1: Leaving dirty dishes in the sink. That’s the worst.

    Dave: Okay so that is the number one worst thing?

    Voice 1: They get all crusty and then it’s harder to get them clean.

    Dave: Ewww. So are you picking up the slack for your roommate?

    Voice 1: Oh no it’s a standoff.

    Dave: yeah. So you’re waiting to see…

    Voice 1: Yeah. I’m digging my heels in on this one.

    Dave: But it’s taking them a long time

    Voice 1: Oh yeah.

    Voice 2: She doesn’t do the dishes.

    Dave: No dishes?

    Voice 2: nah. I’ve got to do the dishes.

    Dave: that’s it? Is she dirtying the dishes?

    Voice 2: No she usually buys pizza so she accumulates all of this trash but I take the trash out too you see?

    Dave: Gah! So have you confronted her about the dish issue? The dish-ue?

    Voice 2: Occasionally. I have but she like, “Yeah…” I mean she see’s the mountain of dishes there and those dishes need cleaning. That’s the only problem I have.

    Dave: Well really in the grand scheme of life if that is the worst beef that you have with your roommate then…

    Voice 2: Well, I’ve been roommates with her for a long time. She’s my sister so…

    Dave: Ahhhh okay wow and you get along with her that well?

    Voice 2: Yeah.

    Dave: Sweet.

    Dave: Hey how is it going?

    Voice 3: Good how are you?

    Dave: Good. My name is Dave. I’m with App State’s social media team. Would you mind if I asked you a quick question?

    Voice 3: Cur…Sure.

    Dave: Cur?

    Both together: Cur…cool and sure!!!

    Voice 3: How’d you know???

    Dave: It’s also a dog right? I don’t know it was on Jeopardy the other night.

    Dave: All right what is your first name?

    Voice 3: Lindsey.

    Dave: Lindsey do you have a roommate?

    Lindsey: Yes.

    Dave: You do? Okay what is your number one roommate pet peeve?

    Lindsey: The fact…

    Dave: Is she pretty cur or…

    Lindsey: She’s cur. She’s really cur but she doesn’t take out the recycling and I have done it at least four times in a row and I’m like, “Dude…it’s your turn.”

    Dave: And it’s just the two of y’all?

    Lindsey: Yeah. I can’t have that just chilling around so.

    Dave: You’ve got to do something about this.

    Lindsey: I know. I do.

    Dave: It’s awkward right? You don’t want to be a jerk but she is kind of taking advantage of you.

    Lindsey: You don’t you know…that’s your best friend. That’s your roommate.

    Dave: Are y’all best friends?

    Lindsey: Yeah.

    Dave: Well I’m sure this whole recycling thing won’t be the end of ya.

    Lindsey: Ain’t nuthin but a G-thang.

    Dave: That’s right. Thanks Lindsey.

    Voice 4: I had a roommate my freshman year that was naked constantly. She never wore clothes.

    Dave: What? No! So did you know her?

    Voice 4: We emailed a couple of times and she never mentioned that she liked to be naked and then day one she was naked all the time.

    Dave: Day one? Wow. Right out the gate. Gosh. How did you address that?

    Voice 4: Usually she wasn’t in the room that much so I could kind of live with it but if I had friends or family coming over I would have to text her and be ice, “Hey, put on some clothes.”

    Dave: Gosh. Did she wear clothes outside the dorm room? Of course right?

    Voice 4: Yes she did wear clothes when she left.

    Dave: That was really fun. I liked that one. Most people are like, “Oh the dishes.” But you’re like, “She’s naked!”

    Voice 5: He never lets me close the window.

    Dave: Why do you want to close the window?

    Voice 5: Sometimes it gets cold and I’m a cold-blooded person.

    Dave: What are you going to do come winter?

    Voice 5: Tell him to close it.

    Dave: You’ve got to lay down the law.

    Voice 5: Totally.

    Dave: All right well good luck.

    Voice 6: Their cleaning habits.

    Dave: They clean too much.

    Voice 6: No. They don’t clean enough.

    Dave: They’re always cleaning. “It’s two in the morning. Stop cleaning!”

    Voice 6: That’s what they say to me. “Why are you sweeping the floor? It is midnight.” And I’m like, “ It is dirty!”

    Dave: What’s your number on roommate pet peeve?

    Voice 7: Messiness.

    Dave: Yeah? Can you be more specific?

    Voice 7: I can’t get in my doorway.

    Voice 8: She snores loudly and it sometimes keeps me up at night. I love her but you know it’s just too much.

    Dave: Does she know that she snores?

    Voice 8: Yeah. Very recently she found out. She was asking me like, “Wait do I snore at night?” and I’m like, “uhhhhhhhh…”

    Voice 9: When they eat my food. I hate when they eat my food.

    Dave: That’s brutal.

    Voice 9: (exacerbated) ugh! It’s fine though. It’s fine. I love them all. They are super great.

    Dave: I mean do you buy like way better food than they buy?

    Voice 9: I get the good brands. You know what I’m saying?

    Dave: If you could change one thing about your roomie what would that one thing be?

    Voice 10: Well she is my girlfriend so I’d better not say too much.

    Dave: Oh! Haha no pet peeves at all right?

    Voice 10: None!

    Dave: She’s perfect.

    Voice 10: Amazing.

    Dave: Good Answer.

    Dave: A lot of dish-ues, general messiness and people not being quiet but I would have to say the number one worst roommate issue would have to be naked roommate. Naked roommate takes the cake. (bell ding) That would definitely be the worst roommate. If you’re naked roommate took your cake. I’m Dave Blanks and this has been Dave by the Bell. I’m back at the bell. I’ll talk to you next time.